---
title: Add To Cart
type: LP
releasedAt: 2026-06-02
coverArt: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
featured: false
filtered: false
blurb: |-
  The cost-of-four-kids album. Dad-finances comedy. Every track has a price tag attached. Receipts, Costco hauls, the Amazon-box stream, BFA tuition, the gas pump, the subscription stack — all of it. The album that says out loud what most dads only mutter at the laptop in the bedroom office. Format constraint: every track names real prices and brands. The album's comedy is the specificity — $1.50 for the Home Depot hot dog, $400 for the Costco run, $4.29 a gallon. Round numbers kill the joke; the receipt is the joke.
streaming: {}
tracks:
  - num: 1
    title: Add To Cart
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/add-to-cart.mp3
    duration: 130
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      opener. Title track. The Amazon Prime tap-tap-tap loop. Four kids' wishlists in rotation, the porch never empty, Maria's "did you order this?" Daddy's "I don't remember." The album's thesis.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/add-to-cart.md
  - num: 2
    title: Costco Run
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/costco-run.mp3
    duration: 127
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Saturday haul. $400 minimum. Four kids running the cart, Liam pushing, Ava on the front, Iyla pointing at every sample, Tessa in the seat. The hot dog at the end. The seventy-pack of bath tissue that won't fit in the Lexus trunk.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/costco-run.md
  - num: 3
    title: Drive-Thru Daddy
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/drive-thru-daddy.mp3
    duration: 133
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Chick-fil-A on Wednesdays, Torchy's on Tuesdays, the In-N-Out detour when there's time. Daddy's "just this once" turns into the receipts file folder. The total at the end of the month is its own line item.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/drive-thru-daddy.md
  - num: 4
    title: The Pump
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/the-pump.mp3
    duration: 166
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      gas at $4.29 a gallon, Lexus tank topped off twice a week. The hybrid badge that helps but doesn't save. The drive-up display that keeps climbing past sixty. The "how much was it last year?" question.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/the-pump.md
  - num: 5
    title: Amazon Box Stream
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/amazon-box-stream.mp3
    duration: 136
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      the porch is never empty. The boxes Daddy ordered, the boxes Maria ordered, the boxes neither of them remember ordering. The five-year-old already asking what's in her box (it's not for her). The cardboard recycling overflowing every Tuesday.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/amazon-box-stream.md
  - num: 6
    title: Subscription Stack
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/subscription-stack.mp3
    duration: 121
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Disney+, Netflix, Apple One, Spotify Family, Amazon Prime, BFA lunch app, Goddard tuition autopay, Peak Athletics autopay, Audible, the Class Dojo upgrade, the photo cloud. The $400-a-month no one talks about because no one wants to read the list.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/subscription-stack.md
  - num: 7
    title: Tuition Day
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/tuition-day.mp3
    duration: 194
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      BFA + Goddard hit the credit card the same week. The number on the statement. Daddy at the kitchen counter, staring at the line item, doing the per-day math. "That's a Lexus payment, in education." Sets up the album's biggest single line item moment.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/tuition-day.md
  - num: 8
    title: Dentist Deposit
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/dentist-deposit.mp3
    duration: 224
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Liam's first cavity, the orthodontist consultation, six checkups stacked back-to-back. The smell of the office. The "expander" word Daddy heard for the first time. The four-year-old's first visit free; the rest of them, not.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/dentist-deposit.md
  - num: 9
    title: Birthday Party Budget
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/birthday-party-budget.mp3
    duration: 157
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Main Event reservations, party favors, the cake from the bakery on Plaza Drive, the four times a year this hits. The kid math: "if I have ten friends, that's ten kids…" Daddy's math: "the per-kid is fifteen and that's not counting the cake."
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/birthday-party-budget.md
  - num: 10
    title: The Gift Economy
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/the-gift-economy.mp3
    duration: 199
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      Christmas list inflation. Four kids each wanting more. The list Liam typed in Google Docs. The list Ava dictated to Maria. The list Iyla drew in crayon. The list Daddy and Mama secretly cap at five items per kid. The friends-and-grandparents extra stack that arrives Christmas Eve.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/the-gift-economy.md
  - num: 11
    title: What It's Worth
    audioUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/what-its-worth.mp3
    duration: 193
    imageUrl: /audio/albums/add-to-cart/folder.png
    date: 2026-06-02
    featured: false
    notes: |-
      closer. Sincere flip. Tally the whole album: the tuitions, the subscriptions, the gas, the dental, the Amazon, the Costco, the parties. Big number. Then: "wouldn't trade a dime." The line that earns the joke-album its heart. Album closer.
    lyricsFile: add-to-cart/what-it-s-worth.md
---